In the hood…and some thoughts on pants.

So I saw Robin Hood (on your recommendation)…and I thought it was pants.

It was all too plot heavy and full of Crowe trying to be as cool as he was in Gladiator but failing because: a) he’s older and less hot, and b) everyone now knows he’s a borderline nutjob so it just seemed like a bit desperate. Like watching the aging bachelor uncle try to dance with the bridesmaids at weddings. Painful. Plus, more of the haunting woman wailing music, flash backs in wierd grey technicolour, cheesy lines about lambs and limes, or lions, I don’t know, and tough-but-hearts-of-gold sidekicks. Bored now. And that ginger guy from ER was in it, with a bad Scottish accent and a bow and arrow and that just didn’t work AT ALL.

So, yeah, you’re wrong. Bygones.

Plus, there’s only one rightful Robin Hood, and his name rhymes with Levin Bostner. You know i’m right.

Now, about this washing. Dear oh, dear, oh dear. What a keffufle (is that how you spell that?). I remember the Straddling Bath washing stance well from my gap year, it is so undignified and really doesn’t work at all. Your clothes are just wet, and wrinkled, and still not exactly Persil fresh.

Anyhoo, I reckon it won’t be long before you won’t miss any of the home appliances of which you speak. Rich and I spent a tedious 15 minutes trying to fix the broken dishwasher at the weekend, and my washing machine makes the entire house shake when it’s on its spin cycle. And the oven’s light is broken. And the hoover keeps turning itself off. See, aint so grand over here either.

Except that I keep raking in the free shit, check out this latest haul…and that’s just HALF of it. Ah, good times.

But listen, dude. What else is happening? Where are you living now? When are you moving into the bachelorette pad with The Journalist? Have you started work now proper? Are you going trekking again? Have you been out boozing yet? Have you used your coffee mugs yet? Shall I send an emergency pants aid package via the Red Cross? I NEED MORE INFORMATION. Dammit.

Big love

Queenie xxxxxxxxxxx

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8 Responses to In the hood…and some thoughts on pants.

  1. Cheryl says:

    Cool… I love the shredder!

  2. Tessa says:

    Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha! Queenie you rock! (And so does your house apparently…what with washing machines and shredders and lazy hoovers!)
    Bean’s taste in movies veers from sublimely good (especially her huge knowledge of indies) to utterly appalling…all that sci fi shite, y’know…and yes, Robbing Hood)

    Hey, I need some freebies…a bowl of foot nibbling fish sounds just the ticket for my calloused Ahhhhfrican feet.

  3. African Bean says:

    Look Ladies, it’s not my fault you have utterly appalling taste in films. Queenie’s judgement is obviously screwed thanks to Kevin Costner’s ass shot in the original Robin of the Hood. Crowe doesn’t need to get his ass out, he’s that good …. swoon.

  4. Boring Accountant says:

    Robin Hood is pants of the highest order. Was appalled that an accent that bad was allowed on to the silver screen… haven’t heard an east midland accent that bad since…well…Levin Bostner.

    At least Levin’s film had the good grace to have Morgan Freeman and Alan Rickman in it though… but the guy from ER and the big guy from Lost and Wolverine? Pah.

  5. Ces says:

    Hello! I came here via Tessa’s blog. Oh my goodness. This is a witty critique of Robin Hood. I have not seen the movie but I imagined how it is based on your description and I find myself flinching with great discomfort. Well done. Oh you have that Lady Tessa’s spunk!

  6. Ces says:

    Hahahaha! I just read your mailing list come on! HAHAHAHAHA! Now I know what’s been missing. Such a fine blog! Tsup!

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